virgin

From a WC door handle, in the ladies' locker room at the Virgin gym, hung a bold, round, red sign that said: This machine is out of order. Why not ask a fitness consultant about an alternative exercise? I was too scared, so I declined.

food for thought, in a manner of speaking

Bloggers always ramble off some sort of excuse after returning from a looong break. Sometimes they promise not repeat such "bad" behaviour again.

I, as could be expected, intend to do no such thing. I absolutely and explicitly refuse to be guilt-ridden and tormented amidst a search for, at the very least, half-inspirational material to write about or report on. Life, sometimes, is boring; it's sometimes uninspiring; but more often than not, in my case, it's very very busy. And as a challenged writer, being swamped is certainly no Muse.

During seasons of busyness, one must learn to prioritise. In now particular order, other than the order in which they appear in my mind and tip off onto the keys of my not-so-white keyboard, my highest priorities are listed here: Friends, family (for the love of alliteration), work, sleep, "quiet time", Izandla Zethemba art class... (I got bored with making the list, so I stopped. -Ed)

So, as an attempt to get back in the game... here is a Friday afternoon titbit for your amusement: Check this out.

Have a good one. 'Til Monday... maybe.

I'll be right back

This blog is taking a short break until I manage to figure out how to get it back on track as it has drifted off and started to become something that it wasn't intended to be when it was first conceived, sort of like this sentence...

When bored at work, engage in mildly funny email correspondence with a co-worker on the other side of the room.

James: Hellllooooo

Its the noise maker again just giving a friendly reminder about updating your decor files. I left the final files in my folder so I dunno if you need reference or whatever. Just trying to pull you out of the path of a beeeeg crap ball that might fall on your head from downstairs (yes, gravity is reversed).

That is all. You may go now.

....

Meeow.

Me: Thanks Mr. Cooke. Your reminder is both welcomed and much appreciated. I would gladly look at the files in your folder which you are making available to me so kindly. As for the generous gesture of pulling me "out of the path of a beeeeg crap ball"... kind sir, how will I ever repay you?

Yours in humble sincerity.

Woof, woof.

P.S. I'm going back to my padded cage this weekend where I'll be medicated, in case you were wondering.

J: Mr. eh?

Only my drug pushers and mafia enforcers call me Mr.
Please, call me Don James. As for your padded cage, where are you keeping this cage?
Can I get one? I often want somewhere to hide from updates, final PDFs and "the process we have here". A nice steel cage sounds perfect.

Oh and thanks for the link.

Meeow.

M: Dearest Don James,

I get taken to the cage. I don't know where it is. It's all such a blur... The agony... The voices in my head say they're slowly killing me. Will you help me?

Woof.

J: Dearest Miss Woof

That is what the Don is here for. He is concerned about his fellow citizens and you only need ask for help. Do you need somebody "taken care" of? If drugs are your thing then I have cousin in New Jersey who is always willing to help. My big Italian mafia ears are open.

Don Meeow

M: My Don,

It concerns me that you refer to yourself in the 3rd person... well, in the first sentence at least.

By the way, does your cousin owe you a favour?

Don't worry about me, my dearest Don, I don't think there is much anyone can do for me now. I think I will end it myself, before the others get to me. Shhh, I think they're listening...

Yours...
Virginia Woof

J: Dearest Virgina Woof
(nice one b.t.w)

The Don does refer to himself that way the Don does. Yes, I got my cousin out of a theft charge - he was stealing looks at my sister. Ha!

The others? The Don is worried. But he knows you are a strong lady. You will get through. And if the voices dont stop, just poke them again with an earbud.

Sincerly
Don Meeow.

M: Dear Donny (You don't mind my calling you that, do you? That's what your mother calls you, isn't it?)

Your wisdom never ceases to amaze me. I will go out for earbuds at once! Oh, but I fear I might be followed. Do you perhaps have a spare one? I could exchange it for some information I might have on a conversation I might have overheard between Capo Crimine and Picciotto... One inmate to another.

Virginia

P.S. As I have nothing better to do, could I blog this conversation?

J: Dear Miss Woof

With that kinda information you certainly are in,  mate. (snigger don snigger). I have some fine continental deli earbuds on offer: Prosciutto Cleano and Salame Caccia-Earo. Perfect for you Miss Virginia Woof.

You may indeed blog this conversation. But if I hear the Feds are making a case against me with it, well lets just say the mud from the ocean floor really helps drown out those voices.

Your business partner in crime,
Don Meeow.

for real?

Of all the wonderful comet Mc Naught pictures I've received courtesy of the email-rounds, this must be the most impressive. Almost doubt that it is real. Apparently, "the photo was taken just North of Hillary’s Marina, Australia."

Aan Maksideem

Hier was veronderstel om 'n foto van Roelof te wees. Blogger vra om verskoning vir ongerief.

Roelof het my uitgeneem om You've Got Mail en Shakespeare In Love, onderskeidelik, the gaan kyk en ons het saam na die 1998 Valentynsbal, deur ons skool gereël, gegaan. Maar arme, arme Roelof is afgesê nog voor daar iets was om oor huistoe te skryf. (Ai, ek's regtig jammer, Roelof!) Nou't ek 'n baie goeie vriend wat ek vreeslik gaan mis wanneer hy more na België vertrek... Toemaar, het reeds aan hom begin nag om ook 'n blog te begin, so ons sal wel weer van hom hoor. Dalk vermaak hy ons met episodes uit die wêreld van Dr. Evil...

(Terloops, verwys na kommentaar op vorige post, indien hierdie een se opskrif nie sin maak nie.)

Super M!

Soos deur Adam aanbeveel...

Hulk?! I've never heard anything as funny in my life! I was hoping for Wonder Woman... Sigh. That was fun.

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 85% The Flash 70% Superman 65% Spider-Man 60% Supergirl 55% Wonder Woman 55% Iron Man 45% Green Lantern 45% Batman 40% Robin 40% Catwoman 20%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz